I am so tired. Today I just realized how tired I was. I just wanted to cry.
There’s just so much going on, so much to do and so much coming in. I feel like I’m juggling a lot of stuff. And just as I get a handle on one thing, something new is thrown into the bunch.
I know that I should just take baby steps, break this huge problem down into little problems and deal with them accordingly but I don’t even know where to start. There are just things around me that are just screaming for my attention and I don’t know which one I should start listening to.
I’m also disappointed that I can’t obviously handle this much of a load. That sucks. I’m 19 now, next year 20. Am I really going to be here in a year just disappointed in what I have not accomplished again? I always planned for no more than 20yrs old to be where I wanted to be, at the very least physically where I want to be. But to be where I want to be, I would need more time. I can’t believe this. I was already so set, so ready. What I wanted for myself next year, I could have had for myself right NOW. And now I’m too tired and too stressed to even get there?!
I know that I have to let go of my expectations. I know they’re unhealthy and probably unrealistic for my situation now. But they were neither unhealthy nor unrealistic back then. Why must I keep on letting these things go? Why do I always disappoint myself in the end? What should I do with my expectations? With my ambition? It can’t be bad to want to do a great job at what I do, right?
I’m so lost, so tired, so lonely. Why can’t someone just be there to hold me and tell me it’s going to be alright, that I’m going to be alright?
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M Domondon
September 3, 1988
Santa Rosa, CA
>>Graphic Designer
Peer Counselor
Self-Proclaimed Genius
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