This picture is of Mike G. A friend from Cebu. (We hardly talk though)



Okay lonely time over.

I did get to watch the lunar eclipse. That was fun.

I also got my package of clothes from the Philippines. I’m soo happy I get to have these. Mom did a good job in grabbing all the Oxygen trinkets she could get her hands on. Hmm, most of the stuff she gets me nowadays is from Oxygen. And, well, I can’t really complain. Oxygen’s okay. I’m more of a People are People and Isis kind of person, y’know? It’s still very edgy and none of these people have seen the stuff that was sent over here.

Look, I got some Myx shirts and well, I would normally NEVER wear Myx shit cause it’s just so cheap and everybody wears it. It’s like the Anchor Blue or Old Navy of the Philippines. It’s the stuff that you see in stores like Target. Everyone knows where you got them because they most likely got the exact same thing. But I’m so happy with my Myx shit. They’re actually pretty decent and just as long as nobody else has them, I’m fine.

Oh vanity, bittersweet vanity. Hahaha.

That’s not to say though that you can’t get good fashion here in America. It’s just really hard to find and really expensive. The graphic design of the Philippines was mostly excrement-smelling-pieces-of-junk (just had to say that) but the higher quality of fashion was always more accessible.

I was just reminded about my big plan when I first got here to drag a couple of friends back to the Philippines and just show them around town. Hopefully pull a couple of strings and ask some people to get me some connections. I actually had a dream about it last night. It was me, Randy and later on James. For some reason James kept getting blonder as the dream went along. I dreamt about going to the Loft (I think that’s what it is) and seeing that absolutely nobody was there. I was so disappointed because it was Randy’s first time at a club and I wanted him to party until he dropped dead (not literally).

Sigh.

Y’know, as I write this, I just wish that I could have spent more time worrying and just living up to the potential that I had in the Philippines. Although I do understand I really wasn’t as socially capable as I would need to have been but still, I wish I did more. I wish that I could’ve gotten over the shame that I was not in America, just stop worrying about stuff and just live a little.

But no regrets, I love the life I lead in the Philippines. I didn’t really live as much as I could have but I lived a lot. I’m very proud of the life I had in the Philippines. And I don’t want to do what I did in the Philippines. Just because this place is not living up to my expectations or what I’m used to, that doesn’t mean that I couldn’t live as much as I could. I actually have lived more here than most of my life in the Philippines. With the exception of my INH days and my surgery, I have never felt more alive in my life.

No worries. No regrets. No biggie. I’m going to have a big celebration this weekend because it’s my birthday and that’s really quite enough. Party life really isn’t everything and seriously, it’s not even really my time to party yet.

Besides, there’s always that party trip back to the Philippines.